Tuesday, May 8, 2012

 

That's right! Nathan is going to be a big brother around October 17th! 
This was sort of a surprise. We had difficulty (well, not as difficult as some couples) conceiving Nathan. We tried for over a year and then we were successful after 2 rounds of fertility drugs. All of that to say,  I was convinced there was no way we could conceive again without the help of fertility drugs.

Dan and I had talked several months prior and had decided to try to have another baby, knowing we would need to give it several months before we went back to fertility drugs (Also thinking this would take another year or so before we conceived again). In January, I called my OB and received a prescription for Clomid (fertility drug). I bought it and just had to wait to start my next cycle to start taking it. I was worried about taking it this time around because of the high incidence with twins, which would have made me a single mom in a hurry if I gave my husband twins!! While taking the drug previously, I had to go into the Dr's everyday for a sonogram to see when, if and how many eggs I was ovulating, thus reducing the chance of having multiples. However, this time it was going to be a logistical nightmare to make it the Dr's everyday when I am not  allowed to bring Nathan with me and without the freedom of my old job. So, my Dr. had said I did not have to have the sonograms and we could leave it up to chance (well, she did not say it like that !!). Again, all of that to say, I was not sure how I was going to tell Dan about all of this. Yes, we had discussed having a second baby and he new going back on Clomid was probable, but I had no discussed all the logistical details with him yet. I knew he would not want to chance having twins at all which would mean no Clomid without sonograms. My plan was to put off talking to him about it until I started my cycle and  i was forced to have to talk to him about it (*yep, that's me the avoider of unpleasant conversations!!)

About 5 weeks later, my cycle had not started yet, but this was not too unusual for me. I thought nothing of it. I was pretty cranky so  Ithought it would be any day. Another 2 weeks went by, again I was in total denial. I had previously had a cycle last me almost 8 weeks so  I thought that was just happening again.  I was getting anxious,  I wanted to start my cycle so I could talk to Dan about starting the Clomid.  I planned to call my OB that day to see if she would write me a prescription for Provera (a drug to induce menstruation). However, I knew from my previous 8 week cycle issue, they would make me take a pregnancy test before they prescribed it. I bought the cheapest pregnancy test, since I knew it was negative! Took the test, left it in my bathroom while it was "timing" and ended up forgetting about it because I was playing with Nathan. IT was an hour later when I remembered. Imagine my shock! Positive. What? Oh, well, I guess if I think about it.........crankiness, wanting Hot Tamales the last few days (the candy- I'm not a big candy eater), back pain, constipation, fatigue...hmmm, my symptoms sounded like I had googled early pregnancy symptoms!! Well, it all made sense in my head right then. I went from doubting there was any possible way I could be pregnant to "Wow, I'm 7 weeks pregnant". What an amazing God we serve!

I have to confess, Dan had told me several times over the past 2 weeks "your pregnant", but I just brushed him off. I hated to admit he was right all along!!

This was God's way of saying "I am in control Diana, not you". In my sin nature, I find myself doubting God, even though He reveals Himself to me ALL the time.  He had total control over the situation. All those wasted hours I spent on worrying how the logistics of getting to the sonograms everyday were going to work....God had a plan for that.