DocBand = GUILT

I would consider this (the DocBAnd) the first big "Hill" we have had since Nathan was born. I was told and knew to expect alot of things when he was born. Sleepless nights, a whole new kind of love, a lifestyle change, ect. but I never knew how much guilt came with a baby. (more on that to come)

This past week Nathan received his DocBAnd. It is a helmet he has to wear for 3 months for his misshaped head (plagiocephaly). We struggled as to what the right decision was for him. He was diagnosed with moderate form of plagiocephaly and we had the option of doing nothing, it would not get better on it's own, his head would just remain the same shape, or place him in a helmet. Of course we had to weight the PRO's and CON's and prayed about it.

THE CONS: COST (insurance would not cover it b/c they consider it cosmetic), having to wear it for 3 months 23 hours a day, people staring, not knowing if it would produce much result since he is a little older, I was worried about personality changes and a fussy baby.

THE PROS: His head would be more symmetrical. It would help correct the flatness to the left side. It would get more length in his head, as it is very wide compared to long. We also do not want him to be teased when he is older about the shape of his head.

What sold us was 2 things. 1st,We had friend at work who's daughter wore one and she showed us before and after pictures and you could tell a big difference AND 2nd, they told us he may not ever be able to wear a bike helmet properly because of the shape of his head (that sold Dan right then and there!!!)

So the journey begins. Usually they are fitted and placed on babies as young as 3 months and they like to have it placed by the time the baby is 6 months old but they will treat with a helmet up to 18 months old. By the time we made the decision, had him fitted, a 2 week wait for the helmet to be constructed, Nathan is well into his 7th month by the time he officially received his helmet.

Here was picture of him the day he received his helmet. He looks so happy and totally oblivious to what is about to happen. Yes, I cried, I just felt so guilty about putting something unnatural on his head that I assumed he was going to hate.

I forgot (maybe I was in denial) to take pictures of his helmet when he first got it. This picture was on day 4. When they first put it on he did not seem to mind it so much. By he second night he was much fussier. Day 3 was pretty rough. HE was just fussy and pulling at hte helmet (yes, I was crying alot) Poor thing. Here he was suffering and I could easily stop the suffering. Tha is why I feel so guilty. This was a choice we made for him. It is not medically necessary or required. I think it would be a lot different if he was in a spica cast (when a baby breaks a femur they have to put a cast on both legs with a bar going between the legs, it is very cumbersome to deal with) or something because that would be medically required and needed.

On the 4th night we took the helmet off for his 1 hour break, to bathe him and to clean it and below is a picture of what we saw.

A horrible blister that was oozing. Talk about more guilt, we basically had caused this to happen to him.(lots of tears from mom). No wonder he was fussy and pulling at the helmet. We thought it was a pressure sore. We left the helmet off that night. the next morning we went into the clinic and they told us it was heat rash. I was told when we first got it that he would sweat a lot more because it was like he was wearing a giant sweater on his head.

We were told to leave the helmet off of him until it healed.

Well, yesterday, day 7, I put it back on him in the morning, b/c the spot appeared healed. When I took it off that night, he had a new spot on his check. So, we had to leave it off last night.

I am beginning to wonder if he is ever going to get to wear it or if we just donated $3000 to Cranial Technologies. I am getting a little frustrated, especially since he is already almost 8 months old.

Apparently Nathan has very light, sensitive skin, just like me.

On a different note, Dan has been working on painting the helmet. Apparently you can't just paint it because of the type of material it is, so he had to kind of scoff the outside to get the paint to stick, He then painted it and put a clear coat on it. Needless to say, this is a lot more work than most. the majority of the patients put stickers or wrap the helmet in vinyl. Of course, Dan had to do it professional style!!

Here are a few picture when it was just plain white. IT was very medical looking.

AND, HERE IS THE FINISHED PRODUCT!!!

TA-DA!!!

WE (umm...mostly Dan) chose the red bull theme, as it is associated with his favorite Formula One car racing team with the glorious Sebastian Vettel!Also, Red Bull sponsors the Red Bull Air Races. It is were planes have to go compete for time through an obstacle course over water and through pylons. I have to admit, it is pretty cool to watch. We have Nathan doing Red Bull air training in his swing!

Anyways, that is were the theme came from.

I think it turned out really well. It does not look medical anymore and it adds personality.

Here is a side shot.

And the back. Notice the way Dan signed it! (Love dad) so precious.

They also shaved more of the helmet from his eyes. Before, he could barely see, because it dipped down into his sight of vision.

He really has been overall happy in his helmet (notice the happy slobber), since the blister has healed. There are times when he still pulls at it, but mostly it does not seem to bother him.

The bad thing is I have to keep him cool until his body adjusts to the heat from the helmet. OS, n cute clothes for a while, onesie's only and we have to keep it cooler in the house (YEAH!!! for me, Poor Dan!)

Very creative and talented artist!

I know some people may think we are being to vain, but if you know us you know that is not true. We just want what is best for our son.

I will keep you updated as we go throughout this journey. Hopefully we will stop having skin issues and he can just wear it and get it over with. (yes, Rachel, I know I ended my sentence in a preposition!)

7 months (3 weeks late!)

7 Months Already!

Nathan continues to grow and time continues to pass quickly.

SOme highlights of this past month include Nathan sitting by himself for long periods of time. He was toppling over a month ago, but now I can just sit him down and know he won't tip over.

He also moves around so much more at night. He scooches himself into the corner of the crib with his "back scoot". The bad thing is he wakes up in the middle of the night with his head jammed into the corner and he startes to fuss. All we have to do is put him back in the middle of the crib and he goes back to sleep, but I don't like having to get up at 1am and 4 am. I am not sure how we can break him of this bad habit! We find him sleeping more on his stomach too, which we never thought would happen because of his adverseness to tummy time for so long!

He continues to be such a happy baby. He has this little "pig squeal" he makes when he is really happy. It is adorable!

He loves to play with his toys and now I can set him down for a little while and he can entertain himself with his toys!

He is getting closer to crawling! He will get up on all fours and rock back and forth. He just has not made any forward movements! It is so funny how fast he changes. One day we put him on his tummy and he got up on all 4's ,just like that! So I am assuming one day he will just decide to start crawling!

One of his favorite things is bath time! Dan ussually gives him his batah and they have so much fun splashing and playing! Nathan still loves to put EVERYTHING in his mouth, as shown above.

He is growing so fast and I love every minute of it! (even the times in the middle of the night when I am exhausted) I am just thankful to have this wonderful and prescious little boy who I love more than I could ever imagine was possible! I am not a very emotional person but somettimes my heart feels like it is going to explode with love for this little boy and it brings true tears to my eyes. If I, in my imperfect sin nature, can love someone this much, how much more must out Heavenly Father love us? I can not even fathom!!

I have gone back to part-time at work and I really enjoy the extra time it gives me with NAthan at home. Some days we struggle to find things to dao but it is a joy to watch hime play and learn new things and i am grateful to be a part of it!

My next post will be on our difficult descion and journey to put Nathan in a helmet to correct ot his head.....stay tuned!

Aquraium

I was "bored" (such relative term when you have a child) one day, really I just wanted to get out of the house , so Dan and I took Nathan to the Aquarium.

He loved it! I figured he would because he spends alot of time watching our fish at home, in a 60 gallon tank.

To begin the day we bought an umbrella stroller. I love my BOB stroller but it is the size of a tank, so it is nice to have something smaller for occasions like this.

He started kicking and "talking" like crazy when we went into the aquarium. I wish I had the video camera, it was adorable. Note to self....take it next time!!

I really think we could have parked him in front of this giant tank, left him there for the day and picked him up before bed time! (I guess that would warrant a CPS consult huh?)! He was very content and happy just watching the fish swim up to him and looking at all the different colors on the fish.

He watched this little fish so intently. It would swim up to the glass and Nathan would get so excited! He would kick his legs and bang his little hands on the glass (sorry fish!)

Dan was giving him a lesson on the different types of fish....Seriously, we would walk up to a tank, Dan would take on look and be able to name not just the type of fish but the specific name! I guess it helps he has a biology/zoology major! I hope Nathan realizes and appreciates how smart his daddy is!

Nathan really liked these types of tanks were you could stand up and be surrounded by fish!!

This was the giant sting-ray tank. The sting ray would swim right up to Nathan, he loved it!!

Dan and I had alot of fun too!!

I went ahead and bought an annual pass, as it pays for itself in 2 visits, and Nathan gets in for free. I figured we will get lots of use this winter and on days were we just need out of the house!!

I have an overdue 7 month post coming soon!

6 month stuff

6 Months and growing!

WT:17lbs 11oz (50th%)

Length: 26in. (25th%)

FOC:46.5cm (75th%)

He's a little disproportionate...but that makes him unique! The Dr. thinks they measured him wrong on his height b/c she said he looks taller, either that or he has alot of vertical growing to do!

We have had busy month of August and part of September. I have officially switched jobs. I am now back in the Trauma ICU were I originated from (they all say I was a wayward child who found her way back home!!). I will miss my job on transport. It was a fun and challenging job with alot of autonomy. I loved all my guys I worked with and it challenged me as a nurse b/c we had every type of pediatric patient population. However, my family comes first and me working back in the unit will be best for my family. I am looking forward to being back in the hospital. I like the continuity of care you have in the unit, I love trauma, I still have some good friends who work up there and I like the relationship you have with the Dr's in the hospital. And of course, the challenge!

Nathan and I took a trip with my mom ans cousins to Oklahoma. One of my cousins attends OSU, so we went to visit her and to see the exhibit "PASSAGES" at the museum in Oklahoma city.

"PASSAGES" was interactive bible exhibit that took you through how the King James Bible was written, preserved and passed on throughout the years. There were pieces of the Dead Sea Scrolls, which was just fascinating. To stand there and look at something so old and important was amazing. I learned alot and my memory was refreshed from facts I learned back in school. We could have spend all day looking at all the Bibles and interactive activities they had.

Nathan loves to look at himself in the mirror, i hope it is not an indication of him being vain!!

He loves to stand any chance he gets! With the way he hates tummy time and loves standing I am convinced he is never going to crawl but just got straight to walking!

Dan rigged up a way for us to hang his jumper up in the tree to use it as a swing. Needless to say, Nathan was a big fan! We could push him so much higher outside than in the house and he just grinned. I am so thankful it is finally cooling off enough in the evenings that we can take him outside to swing.

Nathan and Grandma on the giant John Deere tractor, he kept reaching over to play with the gear shift. I think he will be an early driver (especially knowing who his father is!)

They had a small indoor pool at the hotel we stayed at so we took Nathan for a swim. It was so interesting how it being a smaller pool, indoors with no-one else around made such a difference in how he liked swimming compared to the loud, big outdoor pool. I think he thought it was his bathtub, just a little bigger!

Playing in the fountain with Auntie Rachel. He sure has a fascination for water!

New "toy"

Nathan got a new toy this past week, well, actually DAN got a new toy this week! Nathan is getting to big for the front pack carrier and we like to hike alot so Dan ordered a Kelty kid backpack carrier. He got a good deal on EBAY for it. Of course, since it is my husband, multiple modifications had to be made to the carrier to make it just right!! For those who do not know my hubby, he is infamous for modifying any big purchase we get to improve it! He really does make it better, it just makes me nervous when the tools come out. Case and point, we had bought a brand new, expensive, smoker/grill from Lowes. When we got home I went inside and came out later to find Dan with his welding torch cutting holes into the brand new , did I mention expensive, smoker! AHHH.....of, course it turned out great and works just the way he wants it to, but it still makes me nervous!!

Anyways, Nathan seems to like his new backpack carrier. It is a little cumbersome to get on in off with him in it and the weight is up high instead of down low, like a normal backpack.

We are planning an overnight hiking trip, for just the 2 of us, in October, so Dan is starting to "train" for it by carrying Nathan around in the backpack. This will be our first overnight tent camping trip, where we have to carry all our gear, so it helps to get used to having all that weight on our backs!

Here is Nathan in his new backpack. Doesn't he look thrilled!!

This is my new favorite picture of him! We were out on our nightly walk to look for frogs at the lake! Actually, if I'm honest, I like looking for frogs! It is quit a skill to sneak up on them then run towards them and watch them LEAP into the water. The closer you get to them before they jump, the higher and further they go!! I'm sure anyone watching me must think I'm insane!! It's the little things in life.

Nathan loves his jumper-oo although he likes it more as a swing instead as a jumper. He gets the biggest smile on his face when you start swinging him.

And a cute picture to end on.

Busy 5 month old

Swimming, Driving and Cycling!

That is what our now 5 month old has been up to this month!!

Nathan is becoming more active everyday. It is so fun to watch him do new things. He started laughing and he now rolls over every time you put him on his tummy! He hates tummy time so I think he was more than thrilled to find a way to get off his tummy.

He is also a lot more "squirmy". He wiggles when getting his diaper changed and when getting his bottle. He still likes to be cuddled to fall asleep for a nap, which I love!

He is "talking" more and more everyday. This started about week ago. He makes all sorts of cute noises which I'm sure he equates ot "talking". It sounds like dolphin noises. He does have this one annoying "grunting" sound he makes often. It sounds like complaining but it gets old in a hurry. We like the cuter talking noises better.

When you put him on his back on the bed he just goes to town kicking and flailing his arms. He also gets a serious look on his face, so we are convinced he is "working out". He is probably imaging himself sprinting while he's flailing!!

Dan finished constructing Nathan's bike. He took an old mountain bike, added fenders, and turned it into a commuter bike with the baby carrier!(He also added a light in the back, for safety!) Nathan seems to like it. We have not gone far with him in it because we do not have a helmet small enough for his big noggin!! Although, I think the last person in the world to just fall on a bike would be Dan!!

Dan has also been teaching Nathan to drive! (Don't worry CPS, the car was never in drive on the road while their was an unrestrained child in the vehicle)

He and daddy have such a good time together. I am so thankful Dan is able to watch him on some of the days I work. It will really strengthen that father-son bond! Dan is so active, as most of you know, so he and Nathan stay busy on the days I work.

Here is his 5 month old shot!

Nathan and I went to visit my grandparents 2 weeks ago. My mom brought a blowup crab pool for Nathan! It was awesome. He splashed and splashed for the longest time in it! He would just kick and flail his arms while smiling! It did not even bother him to splash water in his face. He did let us know when he was tired though.

You can't see it in this picture, and I just accidentally erased the picture with the full crab in it, by pressing the back button :( but the crab pool has 2 eyes on it and he would look up and stare at them while he kicked!! SO cute!

And finally, we have graduated from rice cereal to vegetables! He tried carrots a few days ago and he ate every bite! I think he is going to be an eater like his dad!

He is on his 2nd round of sickness, which is so sad. He is so congested and has trouble breating. We think he has been getting sick form church nursery! Church on Sunday - sick on Wednesday!!

Luckily Dan bought a hospital grade suction machine (those of you from work , if any of you read this, are laughing about this!) we have suctioned him several times and it makes such a difference! I hate seeing him sick, he looks so sad, but he is a trooper!

Being a mom becomes more fun each day! Dan and I really love him and he is a fun and easy going baby!

4 months and 1st taste

I never truly appreciated the saying "time flies" before I had a child. Now, I understand the meaning behind it! I really can't believe 4 months has gone by already! I think time seems to pass faster since I am focused on Nathan now instead of just myself.

I have been back at work for a month, part-time, however, I will be returning to full-time in the fall (boo). Sadly, my position at work does not offer part-time. Going back to work has been a relatively easy transition for me. It has made me realize I am not cut out to be a full-time stay at home mom. I enjoy working! I like the break it provides from being at home and it helps me to better appreciate my time off that I get to spend with my family. I like being back with my co-workers and using the critical thinking part of my brain again. Part-time would be a perfect balance for me, so I am praying a position will become available back at the hospital.

Nathan had his 4 month check-up and he is growing nicely. However, he does have a large head!!His head circumference is in the 75th percentile while the rest of his body is 30%!! I think that is why it took him awhile to hold his head up on his own, that is alot of work when your head weighs so much! I am sure he will grow into it in no time.

He still does not roll over, as he hates tummy-time, but he is good about sitting in his bumbo and playing in his exersaucer.

Below are some pictures of his first taste of real food! (OK, it is watered down baby rice cereal, but hey, yo got start somewhere!) He is not a fan, let me tell you. He will take a few bites, which he manages to just push right back out with his tongue then he starts crying.

the Dr. said it can take up to 15 times, of trying new tastes, before he decides he likes it!

Yumm!

Oh, and what a mess it made! I mean seriously, he had like 4 bites and there was cereal everywhere. He had all over his arms, face and head!

He loves his exersaucer. He is able to stand in it for quite awhile before he tires out and gets bored. It is nice that he is able to entertain himself a little bit more each week or so.

Nathan has really been a good baby, I can not complain at all about sleepless nights or long crying fits. He sleeps 9-10 hours at night and then naps 3 times during the day. He usually only fusses when he is tired or hungry (Hey, I do the same thing!!)

He is awake more now that he is getting bigger, so it is difficult at times to come up with ways ot entertain him. He loves being outside, but with our lovely Texas weather of 103 degrees most days since June 1st, it is hard to get out. We go running together before 7am and then take a walk before his bedtime after 8pm. those really the only times we can spend outside because of the heat. I still am not sure why I still am here in Texas. I hate the heat!!

I have not been able to race or train the way I had planned this summer because of the heat and just finding the time to train. That has been a big disappointment for me, i really thought I would have so much more time to train only working 2 days a week, but I never really thought through the fact I would have to have someone watch Nathan during those times!! I can't swim or bike on days that Dan is working, which is most of my days off. All we can do is run, and it is hard to do sprint and hill workouts pushing a tank of a stroller. I can start leaving him at the gym in 2 more months so that will help.

Ahh.. How a baby changes your life!! totally worth it though!